I wish I could teleport
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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