No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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