whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
