I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
