It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
