they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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