why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
