you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
