don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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