You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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