Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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