My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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