just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
