i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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