Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
