I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
