He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize