Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he shaved USA in his pubs
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize