I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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