im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize