I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just tell him i said nine months
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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