why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
