Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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