Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I could fuck to npr.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize