Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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