Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
