ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
