I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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