well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
