I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
