I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I believe in your delicious
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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