Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
