i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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