I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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