Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think people are normalizing furries
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