**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
