i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize