im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
