His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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