CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
