I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
