I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
