Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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