why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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