2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
