Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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