Soap is not a condiment
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
