google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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