Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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