She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
