Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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