what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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