i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
