i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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