I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the day after is always just damage control
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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