I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Green mimosas i think yes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
