Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
