People in love make me want to vomit
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
