so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
