i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize