His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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